I couldn’t help it. I just couldn't. It’s not a theme I’ve ever sported. It’s not a trend or a ‘Shearer thing’ or even a ‘people know me for this’ kinda vibe. But I just couldn’t help myself!
Ever find yourself in a running store, or a sporting good store, or a Marshalls, Target, Kohls, etc… store just staring at the running stuff? It’s everywhere these days. Let’s face it, folks, we have impacted the retail space with our little habit. From hats with holes for your ponytail, to shirts with holes for your thumbs, from blinky lights made of some sort of space-age glowstick to 1,700 varieties of snack, energy booster, protein booster jellybean booster… foods – we’re the bomb and target audience!
There they were, calling to me. Or rather mooing to me. Cow print running shorts! Are you serious? COW PRINTS! On split shorts! I am nothing if not ‘outstanding in my field’. Oh I’m racing in theses. I had no intention of purchasing ANY running clothing, let alone running shorts, but when COW PRINTS show up, intentions be damned!
The retail space created by running (and other outdoor sports, but let’s be honest, mostly running) has also spurred numerous non-traditional companies to compete for our $$$ as well. In 2022, runners spent on average $1,748 on running stuff. Shoes, apparel, goos, etc… And that number does not include race entry fees or coaching. You need a small payday loan to run a marathon these days.
So what’s happened to us? Running was (IS) such a simplistic pursuit. I swore I’d never use a GPS watch, but 12 years ago I succumbed to the digital ‘track my every heartbeat and step’ device. I loved my cotton shirts from all varieties of races from 1983, 1999, 2004, but now I own bamboo, smart wool and other various and sundry blends. And my 5 am runs can now be seen from space.
Unless you include the $240 carbon plated training shoes, none of this stuff really makes us run much faster than before… or does it? I’d suggest that I do run faster, just to make sure few people actually see me wearing COW PRINT racing shorts.
I’d argue that in fact, much of this does improve our running and racing experience. Think about the discomfort of a heavy cotton sweatshirt in January, after an 8-mile run? Or how about bonking during a long race effort? Or there’s carrying a heavy flashlight when instead you could be wearing it to light the way?
There is a traditionalist stance to take on some things, but I recall my first running shoes, the Nike Cortez, weren’t exactly made to handle 26 miles. Guess what shoes I wore in my first marathon back in 1979? I’d love to own a pair of Cortez now, but definitely not to wear for more than as a conversation starter. White with red trim, please. Oh, and if I ever get back to running intervals on the track, waiting for the second hand to hit ‘12’ so I can start my next rep isn’t cool.
I do have a suggestion, and it’s something I’ve been trying to do with my own dresser situation… Every time I purchase something new, my goal is to donate at least one item to a clothing shelter, or Goodwill Store, or even kids on my teams. Stuff in good shape should be worn and shared, not used to burden your decision-making skills about what to wear or guilt about having too much (Save the Whales becomes Save the Dressers).
Oh, next time you see me in a race, I dare you to saunter on up to me wearing Chicken Legs. Yes, it’s a brand of running apparel. I’ll probably be wearing my moo cows.
I hope to see you on the roads, tracks and trails.
